ARGENTINA v. COTE D'IVOIRE [2-1]

HIGHLIGHTS

Heartbreak. A crowd full of Germans rooting against highly favored Argentina, and honestly, how could you not? The Ivoirians are so likeable, with their bright orange and green trimmed kit, lowercase-lettered names (Puma's housing the jersey game, b/t/w. And the Italians haven't even stepped on the pitch yet), and so many dudes rocking what some might describe as the Malcolm Little conk (I've no idea how to produce hair of that texture, but believe me, B&C is on the case. And by the way, can I still say "conk"?). Not to mention they are supremely skilled, quick, strong, and I'm sure they look good in leather too.

Which is why, despite their disappointing but not disheartening loss, the Ivory Coast wins B&C's first, weekly, "Come Up In The Spot Looking Extra Fly Award." Wear it well, gents.

And b/t/w, mothereff the Crouch-- do the Drogbacite.

TRINIDAD & TOBAGO v. SWEDEN [0-0]

Shaka Zulu = Overrated. Chaka Khan = Played out. Blame Kanye. Chuck Knoblauch = Still trying to find first base.

Shaka Hislop = Hero.

T&T deserve to advance based upon excellence of player names alone. Theobald. Sancho. And of course the aforementioned Shaka Hislop. And for looking quite shaky after the first few shots directed his way, Hislop produed a man-of-the-match performance, and with his team down to 10 men no less.

Early candidate for Hate-to-Love-Haircut-of-the-Tournament: Christian Wilhelmsson, who luckily makes up for that rattail with mesmerizing ball skills.

I'm waiting for someone to write a rap song called Shaka Hislop. Betting on Spankrock.