You may not be a model.

But I can front page ya.

Excuse my behavior, ladies and gentlemen, but a forced sabbatical from all things Copa America has kept me away from the keyboard as of late -- and don't fret, Sr. R. will be back with the quickness as well -- but in the meantime, this nugget: Carlos Tevez may soon suit up next to Wayne Rooney, Cristiano Ronaldo, Paul Scholes, Ryan Giggs...hmm...who else? Oh right: Owen Hargreaves, Michael Carrick, Nemanja Vidic, Rio Ferdinand, Patrice Evra, and..who was it again? Quite so, I believe it was two young, linguistically-linked fellows, the Portuguese Nani and the Brazilian Anderson.

This is patently absurd. Though, even absurd-er-er: the Premiership season renews itself once again in August. It's now July 5.