ENGLAND v. TRINIDAD & TOBAGO [2-0]

Pull My Hair Out

HIGHLIGHTS

Conference-calling literary assassin TerrorDactile during the match couldn't even help pull this one out for the Trinis (B/T/W, hope no one missed the '06 version of this in EnnWhy on Saturday). But who knew such awesome dancers could resort to such vile chicanery. That's why a player quit rugby, so one ain't have to truck with fools like this.

England still look to be un gran mentiroso at this tournament (besides the Brazilians, of course -- more on that later) as dainty-armed Frank Lampard couldn't score with Gary Neville's dick (oh, wait--I've got that wrong somehow) on this day. Steven Gerrard can do whatever it is he wants though. A few B&C Associates were lucky enough to attend the University of Westminster with Mr. Gerrard, where he studied under the pseudonym of John Ashland.

Little known fact.