SERBIA (& MONTENEGRO) v. NETHERLANDS [0-1]

HIGHLIGHTS

...a shadowy flight into the dangerous world of a country who does not exist...

or

How the Dutch Are Like the Wu-Tang Clan

If Busta can jack that Knight Rider beat, then I can gaffle the voiceover. And a player still has his locks. But fe-real though, two-on-one shouldn't be fair.

However, when you're relying on Mateja Kezman to score your goals, the psychic scars left after the oft-brutal disintegration of a nation are the least of your worries.

And though it took the better part of 10-15 mins for the Dutch to settle in, with Serbia looking (gasp) dangerous early on, it merely took one incisive lobbed pass from (cough) Arsenal striker Robin van Persie through to (choke) Chelsea winger Arjen Robben to open the scoring. Robben attacked mercilessly throughout and probably deserved a hat trick.

Which is a lot more than the Horseface Killah deserved, meriting his seat on the Manchester United bench for the past few months with his absent performance, and subsequently, Marco van Basten's substitution of Dirk Kuyt for him.

Only thing left to settle for the Dutch now is who is more deserving of the title DutchMasta Killa -- Robben or van Persie -- now that Dennis Berkgamp has been put out to waterlogged pasture.